The dream of Light

 In a child’s heart, dreams are born. Then, ever so often, as we grow up, we forget the dreams. Then we begin a new pursuit for ‘what is my dream, my goal, my ambition?’ We look and we yearn and we struggle and we learn.

 One day , in all its simplicity, it appeared before me, my childhood dream, my song. It made my heart smile, like it did when I was a child.

 I went to help a child with her homework, only to find, she was copying down an urdu poem, a hymn, that I used to sing as a child. It was my favourite.

 I set out to teach but became a student instead. I thought I was a grown up helping a child, but the child reminded me of my own dreams, my song, lost to the years.

 All these years I have been on the quest for Light, for goodness, for Closeness, for Peace. I’ve always thought this was a grown up quest, but it seems like its a path we’re on from the beginning.

 And a poem, I recited in childhood, had all these . Light, Closeness, Peace.

Here goes.

 To my lips come a prayer, as a longing of mine.
May like the candle be this life of mine, O Lord.

May the world’s darkness disappear through this life of mine!                                                            May every place light up with the sparkling light of mine!

May my homeland through me attain elegance and beauty.                                                                     As the garden through flowers attains elegance and beauty.

May my life be like that of the moth , O Lord                                                                                              May I love the lamp of knowledge, O Lord.

May my work be supporting the poor.                                                                                             Loving the destitute and elderly.

O Allah! Protect me from the bad.                                                                                                         That path which is good, make me walk that way.

To my lips come a prayer, as a longing of mine.                                                                                May like the candle be this life of mine O Lord”

-The poem is by Urdu poet Allama Iqbal. 

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Close to The One

How do I want to live?
Who do I want to be ?
What’s the whole point anyway ?
We’re only here for a bit.
To be Close to Him.
That’s really all there is.

In every moment,in all actions,
In intentions,in our every particle.
To be Close to Him.
That’s really all there is.

As we take,as we give,
As we talk,as we listen
In our gathering,in quiet stillness.
To be Close to Him
Is really all there is.

As we live,as we die, as we go on.
In the known..into the unknown
Through all time.
To be Close to Him
Is really,completely,absolutely
All there is.
Al Ahad-the One.

                                           – Uzma Hyder. 

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It’s All Grace

Simplicity in this moment.

A quiet easy peace.

It’s all Grace.

What am I looking for.

In books, in teachers, in Nature’s trees.

It’s all Grace.

 

It’s in seeing our ego’s dance and fight.

It’s in watching it and knowing its all in my mind.

It’s in my loud prayers so my being resonates.

What Grace !

 

To honestly be, to devoutly pray,

To have faith

Magnificent Grace !

 

So the hold of the world and our troubles lessen.

An ease becomes our being.

Grace.

 

Our heart opens,

tears open, sensitive, vulnerable, real ..

Humble care , for oneself, for every person.

…a gentle space.

As we Focus on Grace.

 

Everywhere we see, all that we do, our absolute surrender, all our praise.

It is Only and Only and Always, His Grace.

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Pray, Praise, Be Grateful

Pray aloud,
For the mind to quieten,
the worry to dissipate.
Pray deeply,
f
or all winds to hear,
for my being to resonate.
Pray absolutely,
for the world to fall away,
for every particle to rise, to sway.
Pray with all force,
the force rising within,
energizing, humbling.
Pray, as it fills our mind, our hearts, our every molecule, our entire self.
To the One.
With complete presence, all our energy, every space.
Bow, Praise, Talk, Ask, Be Grateful,
Pray.
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Fireworks of Light. Finding Grace in every moment.

There are fireworks in the sky, some in the distance, some near, but they’re always there. They make us gasp, our hearts beat and in that moment of amazement, our breath freezes. An exclamation of joy. 

In the distance or above our heads, the fireworks are always there. In this spit second or after much time to come, the fireworks are always there. In the future and the present. 

I spent 31st December , 2009 in a hospital room, with a specialist from USA ,here to see my brother. We missed the moment the clock struck 12. And it didn’t matter.

We spent the moment, doing what mattered most.

As we move into health and re-enter the world again, I’m back on my terrace, gasping at fireworks, with maybe a tear in my eye.

In difficulty, through it, after it, I’ve felt the indescribable beauty, the magnificence of God’s Grace upon us. The gratitude is immense. In the hardest of times, we’re closest to Him.

As I stand under the sky of lights sparkling, I remember our healing journey. I bow completely, utterly, in my heart, in my spirit to the One.

Near or afar, here or in the future, there are fireworks that light up the  sky.

In every moment of difficulty, in every moment of ease.

Always, Everywhere ..is His Light.

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Our purpose- of grand, grand design.

Seeing Nature, makes philosophers out of all of us. A photographer studies the smallest pieces of sand under a microscope to see how beautiful each nano piece is.

Do we ever look at sad, or mud, or the floor or a table or our skin to think how radiantly beautiful each nano part us, and how these parts make our whole?

Each distilled over centuries, each with a simple purpose, each beautiful and living with meaning.

Not a purpose of fame and richness and success but a purpose of grand design. To pulsate so our hearts beat, to be soft as we walk on the beach, to shine as rays of the sun. And there is light and this is life.

So the mothers that feed that children and take care of homes,truly live in the spirit of nurturing, being so beautiful in their care and with love, in the nitty grittys of house work, taking forward life. 

The ones that work the fields, keep an ecosystem going, cleaning a field, throwing old weeds, and watching pink flowers beam with glory.

Whatever we do, wherever we are, these stunning cells make up our life. Can you imagine always being, always feeling so beautiful. So part of eternity . 

Magnificent, grand, grand, design. What joy, what pride !! And we still go looking for meaning when it all here. Keep moving, doing, serving, being. 

Magnificent, grand, grand, design.

The beautiful nano details of our world

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Finding happiness and equanimity.

Her goal is to always be happy’, someone once described me thus. And its true. Its what I was seeking.

 The sun that never sets, the light that always shines, the flowers always in bloom, harmony amongst all people.

 A solution to everything is what I sought.

 I’ve seen difficulty, hardship. I know it exists. I’ve accepted it, been in that moment, lived there with courage and hope and an understanding that this is God’s Will and there is wisdom in it.

 Dire situations make us surrender and walk with courage. Everyday life, troubles me more.

 I want perfection in this moment. I want the moment to be extraordinary.

 So I seek, relentlessly. I research, I read, I try to find solutions, wisdom I call it.

 But it always, me against the moment. It’s me -chasing away the present. It’s me- procrastinating.

 It is never perfect. Perfect is an idea in our head. Hard-work is perfect, to go on , is perfect, to accep is perfect.

 I judge the moment a lot, and everything in it. But when I let the judgement drop, when I take away my need for perfection, it all settles down.

 There is more compassion, more goodness. More warmth , more care.

 Perfection is Heaven, and this is life :) . Simple life, where people make mistakes, where we struggle and fight, and rise up and smile. Where it rains and there are storms and then a brand new day.

 And its all okay. When I judge, the storm, I create devastation within. I can’t smile through the storm, but I can watch it, and know this is reality. Storms happen. People bull-doze trees. 

 We can be brave, and gather our supplies and stay warm, in the storm. Calling it names,doesn’t help anyone.

 So I don’t judge the storm, or myself. I know I can’t expect good weather at all times or people to always be nice. And thats okay. We strive for perfection in all parts of our lives, happiness, success, camaraderie. And the striving is a bit unrealistic, it feels. No one is always happy, we don’t always have good weather. So I don’t judge the storm anymore, the fallen tree. I accept it.

There is deeper reason, a depression in the ocean, a soul stirring that needs care and attention. When I watch the storm, I go deeper into its soul, I see its balm.  The wisdom emerges, the goodness even .

 It’s a peaceful world, of honesty with our emotions, acceptance and —-equanimity.  

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