‘Her goal is to always be happy’, someone once described me thus. And its true. Its what I was seeking.
The sun that never sets, the light that always shines, the flowers always in bloom, harmony amongst all people.
A solution to everything is what I sought.
I’ve seen difficulty, hardship. I know it exists. I’ve accepted it, been in that moment, lived there with courage and hope and an understanding that this is God’s Will and there is wisdom in it.
Dire situations make us surrender and walk with courage. Everyday life, troubles me more.
I want perfection in this moment. I want the moment to be extraordinary.
So I seek, relentlessly. I research, I read, I try to find solutions, wisdom I call it.
But it always, me against the moment. It’s me -chasing away the present. It’s me- procrastinating.
It is never perfect. Perfect is an idea in our head. Hard-work is perfect, to go on , is perfect, to accep is perfect.
I judge the moment a lot, and everything in it. But when I let the judgement drop, when I take away my need for perfection, it all settles down.
There is more compassion, more goodness. More warmth , more care.
Perfection is Heaven, and this is life . Simple life, where people make mistakes, where we struggle and fight, and rise up and smile. Where it rains and there are storms and then a brand new day.
And its all okay. When I judge, the storm, I create devastation within. I can’t smile through the storm, but I can watch it, and know this is reality. Storms happen. People bull-doze trees.
We can be brave, and gather our supplies and stay warm, in the storm. Calling it names,doesn’t help anyone.
So I don’t judge the storm, or myself. I know I can’t expect good weather at all times or people to always be nice. And thats okay. We strive for perfection in all parts of our lives, happiness, success, camaraderie. And the striving is a bit unrealistic, it feels. No one is always happy, we don’t always have good weather. So I don’t judge the storm anymore, the fallen tree. I accept it.
There is deeper reason, a depression in the ocean, a soul stirring that needs care and attention. When I watch the storm, I go deeper into its soul, I see its balm. The wisdom emerges, the goodness even .
It’s a peaceful world, of honesty with our emotions, acceptance and —-equanimity.